Rapscallion Layabout Ne'er Do Well

I am currently having a mild anxiety attack in an office on the 9th floor of a building in the financial district of San Francisco because once again I proved incapable of correctly forwarding the phones, or rather unforwarding them so that they will ring here while I am here instead of there while no one is there. Apparently I must activate before I close.

Capture the Victim

The kiddies and I played a game that I dubbed "Capture the Victim" today in honor of Halloween. The game involves two teams, Vampires and Zombies, who want more than anything to get their stolen victims back.

Back inside, I'm pretty sure I said the phrase, "Come on guys, I want to see more ghosts and more eyeballs!" and a child informed me that he was drawing a river of blood.

Later, I informed another child that the only and best way to kill a vampire is to stab him through the heart with a wooden stake and cut off his head.

On Friday I will dress up as a hunchbacked fortune teller and supervise the game "The Haunted Moat".

Self Promotion Time: Smell Reading Series in L.A. Sunday Oct. 26

Please join us at the Smell at 6 pm Sunday, October 26 for a reading by:

Erika Staiti and Lindsey Boldt from San Francisco

Oni Buchanan from Boston

bios:

Erika Staiti is feverishly archiving. You can view some of her handiwork at saidwhatwesaid.com. A new document is in the works; take 3,785 guesses what it is. She's from Long Island, spent 4 yrs in Binghamton, 4 yrs in Portland OR, currently living in North Oakland, Ca (3 yrs and counting).

Lindsey Boldt lives in San Francisco where she is studying to become a migrant cultural-worker. You can find her poems in/at Vanitas, shampoopoetry.com, Try! Magazine, the-press-gang.blogspot.com, Peaches and Bats, and WOO. You can read her soul-belchings on Ridiculous Human Things blog. She is currently working on a chapbook of "Titty Poems" Ask her about it.

Oni Buchanan is the author of Spring, selected by Mark Doty for the 2007 National Poetry Series, and published by the University of Illinois Press in September 2008. Her first poetry book, What Animal, was published in 2003 by the University of Georgia Press. Oni is also a concert pianist, has released three solo piano CDs, and actively performs across the U.S. and abroad. She lives in Boston, where she maintains a private piano teaching studio.

location:

THE SMELL
247 S. Main Street, between 2nd and 3rd St, downtown Los Angeles
(enter through the alley in the back--the alley is between Main and Spring, and is named Harlem Court)

time:

Doors open 6:00PM, reading starts approximately 6:30, everything should be wrapped up by 8:30.

fee:

$5 at the door, to go to the readers

Rapscallion

Turns out, if you type the word "rapscallion" into Google Image Search, you get solid gold.

Rapscallion:

He's What I Want in My Pants

I'll tell you everything
if you just ask
but don't go, Jason Waterfall,
I'm doing weird social things that I don't mean to

BARGE Tour: BTI

This Saturday David Buuck led a BARGE tour of Treasure Island. I was lucky enough to participate as one of 5 ghosts from the future (with Ariel Goldberg, Erika Staiti, Carrie Stone and Lauren Shufran). There's a lot to say but you should read about it here and see photos here. Learn more about the project here I want to do it again. Let's do this some more. Sign me up.

Peer Counseling

Your Mommy issues
and my Daddy issues
should get together
and spoon

You Know it's Hard Out There for a Pickpocket

Nobody carries cash anymore and identity theft is just too much work.

Faithfully Yours

Cry out! to bring some back
this fidgeting of the brain
has more to say about me than me
like to cast it off
like more than anything



*More new ones down yonder under catalogue, under that long bit.

I'm Telling You

Max is sick and should stay home from work but won't do
if I were home from work I would stay sick

Oh for Pete's

Maybe I'm not doing this whole thing right
like maybe this is all very wrong
and the fleas are supposed to lie flat and just let me
but then they thrash their tiny many legs
Maybe I'm not doing this right at all
and the list I made of expenses won't matter by month's end
or I really misunderstood the whole line-break thing
but she's pawing at the drawer again
trying to get into my slippery under things
with her dirty, dirty paws I just saw in the cat box
and we're both watching the flies
and we're both reminded of the fleas
and she itches and I wonder if they fleas grew wings